Again, Write!

The lady said – Write! It doesn’t matter what you write about as long as you show up here and WRITE! For someone who professes to love writing this seems like the worst failing. Instantly the entire world conspires to keep you from working, every thing else seems more enticing. You know this road. You’ve been down it many times. Ain’t no escaping that hairy monster at the edge of the clearing givin you no respite, no cozy feelings of comfort, no tips or tricks, no Entertainment Tonite, to get the juices flowing and be caught in that romantic grip of pouring word after impassioned word that breaks the ice on the blank wall in front of you.

It’s simple, one word after another plod on plod, you don’t get marks for it, you don’t pay your light bills, you can forget the AdSense clicks, none of it is going to do anything for you unless you get your monster-pet to speak. Yeah I know what you are thinking, my sentences sound like a cunt, my words fall in great ungainly dollops of sludge. Drama Queen. Write you silly fuck!

Ok. ‘nuff the bitching.

Yeah and no pit stops either once you get on the wagon. You want your smokes, your caffeine fix? Lay 'em out on the table. Dontcha go huntin for them after you flow. Don’t break the speed of sight that hits you when the words come rushing, conspiring now even greater than all the conspiracies of procrastination to make you say it – blurt it out with out cause for shame or comfort or pride.

Yeah, you can’t call it “that” yet. But maybe someday you can sneak in a line or two, your pet peeve – making a contribution, a meaningful one.

Yay hay hay! Entertainment Tonite it is.

Now reign in that undisciplined fuck who will spunk all over the carpet at the sight of pantyhose nirvana. Burn down your hidey holes. Flush out in the open. Yeah that’s right baby: naked as the day you were created. Ain’t no other way to run this ride.

And for good measure here is the recount on what you need to know to write. A Master Word slinger hisself sayeth it:

1. Enjoy it
2. Keep the juice fresh
3. Write. Shut out all support systems during the first draft.
4. Weed out the trash in your 2^nd draft. Go for a 3^rd and 4^th if need be.
5. Keep it trim. Your ship shouldn’t flounder about like a scow in your reader’s mind.
6. Entertain
7. Know your readers
8. Sanity check with 10 friends. Change whatever doesn’t sound right with most.
9. If it’s bad, kill it.
10. Don’t muck the manuscript. Easy reading: double space et al.
11. Follow the publisher’s rules on submission. Or if you decide to test new waters be aware of the lay of the land and what to expect. An agent can wait till you make more than you can spend.