Cocoon Dwellers

I live inside a cocoon of my own making

It's dark inside here

And me a big fat worm – ugly as sin.

 

Every Break Out season

I listen to other cocoons cracking open

Wings unfolding in a powerful rush

Leaving behind

Only the silence of the departed

 

I must be the oldest cocoon dweller in the world

And the bitterest

Every season

I used to eagerly wait for my wings to appear

It didn't.

 

Now, for many years

I have all but forgotten that…

 

A few days ago

They brought a new pupae

I listened curiously

This one was silent

In deep, dark silences

I could smell her fear

I could feel her longing

How did I know it was a she?

How does a dog know a bitch?

We talked and she told me a story

Without words…

 

Now Break Out season is coming again

I can feel the quickening again

And I can hear my own self mocking again

This cocoon is going to rot

And you are going to fall to the ground

A worm after all, an earth hugger…

 

I shrug

It that's me – that's me

But I can feel an itch in my shoulder blades

I can feel the ghost of a fluttering inside my chest

Something deep and dark

And light

And powerful

And searing

And joyful

Is it there?

Really?

Or is just another…

Figment in the hallways of my imagination?

 

Break Out season is coming again

But I know

This cocoon dwelling life of mine

Will finally be over this season